difficult – aTransParentMom

Time is Short

Published on January 21, 2015January 21, 2015 by aTransParentMom1 Comment

As parents, our time is SO, VERY short. Just yesterday, my babies were just that: babies. Now, on the verge of graduating high school, The Large Child is a man. A MAN! The Little Toot isn’t far behind.

Because we love them and want them to have stress free childhoods, we coddle them and protect them from the ugly world that’s out there. The problem with that is: if I am not teaching them how to handle the things they are going to experience, who will be? Will that person love God as much as I do? Will that person, that is teaching my child, want to bring glory to God? Maybe, mabye not. That’s a risk I’m not willing to take!

When we go through hard times and situations (my husband and I), we try to let our kids in on what’s happening. Try to show them how to handle it. Ask them to pray with us. Ask their thoughts and opinions and line those up with the Bible.

I don’t want to pretend that everything is ok and, SURPRISE! When you are out on your own, you will find out that it’s not a perfect world!!

Nope, no thanks.

It’s so vital that you are going through these things and using them as life lessons for your children (age appropriately, of course). Not only does it hold you accountable to handle it correctly, it shows them how to handle really difficult situations the right way. They pray with you and they watch your every move. Scary, really. Puts the pressure on!!!

I encourage you to walk with your children. Remember that God just gave them to us for a short time. He’s basically letting us babysit them before we send them out to make an impact on the world. I want to stand before God and say that I prepared them the best that I could have. I don’t want to have regrets. I want my children to see God work miracles. To see God fight for us in a way that only He could. To see God provide when there is no provision. To see God answer our prayers that we have all been praying together. A prayer based on bringing great glory to His name.

Oh, my pride. hiding in shame

Published on October 20, 2014October 20, 2014 by aTransParentMomLeave a comment

God is patient. I know I test His patience. I must.

I look back to a blog post I wrote a few days ago and I am struck by my pride. God has, obviously, not laid out His plans for me in a tidy little note. As I continue to seek Him, I get caught up in the emotions of life and I forget what the point is. The point of life. The point of everything I do.

Bring God much glory.

That’s it. My pouting, throwing a fit and demanding an answer surely doesn’t do that. I ask Him, “What did I do wrong? Why did you trick me? What’s happening?” wah wah wah. Each of those questions is centered around myself and not bringing glory to His powerful and merciful name.

Of course He could make it easy. Show us each step. But, why would we need Him anymore? If I know where I am going, I’m not going to rely on my GPS. (No, there’s no lame, Christian acronym there). It’s simple. He has given us His word, and believe me, there’s plenty in there to keep me busy without asking His will and whining about when it’s going to be revealed. Seek Him. Love others. Flee sexual immorality. Only speak to edify others. Be kind to your enemies…

I’m already done for and that doesn’t even scratch the surface!!

Oswald Chambers said, “The Christian should never ask the question, ‘What is God’s will for my life?’ You’re walking through a forest. When is the only time you ask where the path is? When you’re off the path, when you’re lost.” So, he said, “Just stay on the path. Just walk in the will of God. You don’t have to ask where it is, just step, step, step in the will of God.”

I am including an awesome sermon by David Platt. If you have the time to check it out, PLEASE DO. It really touches on this subject and snapped my head back to where it should be. I believe that Satan’s greatest weapon against God is getting us worried that we aren’t doing enough. Getting us worried whether or not we are doing God’s will. Getting our focus completely on what we are doing and ourselves, instead of on the importance of God getting glory in each and every situation.

Yes, we thought He told us to do one thing. We thought that boy was ours’. We loved him. He wasn’t ours’. My heart shattered. So, how do I love God more from that? How do I bring Him glory? I suppose that’s my renewed focus.

^————– Great freeze frame! ha ha (:

Adoption Process = RIP MY HAIR OUT

Published on October 17, 2014October 17, 2014 by aTransParentMom2 Comments

It is unbelievable that we have been in this process for over two years now. How many people want teenage, sibling brothers?! How hard could it possibly be???

Daily, my mind is blown. Hourly, my heart is broken. I honestly don’t know how God is sustaining me through all of this. I feel like my heart gets ripped into shreds. Then it gets ripped into smaller and smaller shreds. It is now in…really small shreds?

If you have followed my blog over the last couple of years, you know that we have been through some insane heartbreaks. Our social worker is doing so much for us, but getting nowhere. I understand that case loads are hard and it’s a long process. What I don’t understand is why we aren’t getting anywhere! Even my kiddos think that it’s never going to happen. They keep hoping, but I see that they no longer believe.

I know. All in God’s timing. God loves them more than I do.

There are so many children on that website that I love with all my heart. I look into their eyes and I feel their pain. I physically feel their hurt. I think that I need to pray Hannah’s prayer. She had some good luck with that. It’s a beautiful prayer.

Keep praying for our child/children (or large person/people) to come home to us soon.

I really don’t know how much more my heart can take…

1 Samuel 1:10,11 – Hannah was in deep anguish, crying bitterly as she prayed to the Lord. And she made this vow: “O Lord of Heaven’s Armies, if you will look upon my sorrow and answer my prayer and give me a son, then I will give him back to you. He will be yours for his entire lifetime, and as a sign that he has been dedicated to the Lord, his hair will never be cut.”