For Love or Honor

by Sarah M. Eden

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Seriously, how many times can I say how much I adore Sarah M. Eden? Simply put: I haven’t read a bad one by her yet!

This time, we get a bit of Regency PTSD. This is long before there was a name for it and the men had to just move forward with no help. Their wives, or the women in their lives, had no idea what they were dealing with and nobody spoke of it. I can’t even imagine. I am really glad that she decided to write on this topic!

Sarah continues on with the saga of Jonquil brothers that we all know and love. This time, the focus is on Captain Stanley Jonquil. Of course you are going to love the characters. They are always written with depth and wonderful character. Make sure you pick up a copy of this great read!!!

Thanks so much for this great book in exchange for my thoughts. As always, this is my honest opinion. Here’s to many more!!

2 Week Break? Yes, Please!

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You may (or may not) have noticed that I have been on a bit of a sabbatical. I needed a couple of weeks of to deal with my ongoing health issues and try to relax. So, social media was first on my list to go.

To get caught up, we’ve had a busy 14 days since my last post. Dr appointments, tests and monitors. Fun! No really, lots of fun…My large child is now driving all over (interstates included). It makes is really nice when I am hurting. I love having teenage children. My amazing niece came over and we spent 24 hours power marathoning through the Twilight series and going to the theater to sit in the reclining chairs and watch another movie. That was fabulous.

As I sit here listening to my heart monitor beeping every couple of minutes, I think of how NOT far we’ve come. So many years of doctor appointments and tests. It’s insane. I feel like we gain no ground, you know. The whole, 3 steps forward, 2 steps back. I just don’t think we even have that high of a statistic.

I also realize that God is working through our family in such a big way. I am reminded of James 1:2-4 Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.”

Therein lies the trick:

Bring God glory.

Don’t try to get out of it prematurely.

Think of it as a gift.

My faith is showing its true colors.

Wow. Working on that. No need to ask God what He wants for me to be doing. That, right there, is enough to keep me busy for the rest of my life!!

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Adoption Process = RIP MY HAIR OUT

It is unbelievable that we have been in this process for over two years now. How many people want teenage, sibling brothers?! How hard could it possibly be???

Daily, my mind is blown. Hourly, my heart is broken. I honestly don’t know how God is sustaining me through all of this. I feel like my heart gets ripped into shreds. Then it gets ripped into smaller and smaller shreds. It is now in…really small shreds?

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If you have followed my blog over the last couple of years, you know that we have been through some insane heartbreaks. Our social worker is doing so much for us, but getting nowhere. I understand that case loads are hard and it’s a long process. What I don’t understand is why we aren’t getting anywhere! Even my kiddos think that it’s never going to happen. They keep hoping, but I see that they no longer believe.

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I know. All in God’s timing. God loves them more than I do.

There are so many children on that website that I love with all my heart. I look into their eyes and I feel their pain. I physically feel their hurt. I think that I need to pray Hannah’s prayer. She had some good luck with that. It’s a beautiful prayer.

Keep praying for our child/children (or large person/people) to come home to us soon.

I really don’t know how much more my heart can take…

1 Samuel 1:10,11 – Hannah was in deep anguish, crying bitterly as she prayed to the Lord.  And she made this vow: “O Lord of Heaven’s Armies, if you will look upon my sorrow and answer my prayer and give me a son, then I will give him back to you. He will be yours for his entire lifetime, and as a sign that he has been dedicated to the Lord, his hair will never be cut.”