I am delighted to inform my personal readers that I have secured an interview with the honorary Lord Theophilus Darcy Tuesday next. You will be amiss if you cannot be in attendance as I shall proceed to delicately inquire of the relations between a certain Miss Bennet (I shall not name her in fear that she will be most distraught) and a gentleman that Theo (we have become intimate in our friendship that I may call him by his Christian name) is closely acquainted with.
Do not fear when I say that our friendship has become intimate. I cherish his friendship, but am most decidedly infatuated with a Mr. Andrews, whose name I may declare with highest regard. Nay, infatuated is not an appropriate definition. I am bewitched, captivated and hereby besotted for the rest of my days with Mr. Andrews. So, fear not, ladies. Theo is quite available.
I have it on great authority that this is the latest painting of Theo. Now, you see?
You shan’t desire to miss this interview!