London, 2nd April 1812

William,

Pray be so kind as to inform your solicitor that he need no longer trouble himself with sending me an allowance as of Michaelmas of this year, as I will no longer require it. By this means, you may also spare yourself your quarterly inquisition into my finances and commentary on my life, since one can scarcely call your missives letters.

Pray give my regards to Georgiana, Richard, Anne, and the lovely Miss Bennet, whose injury, I am informed, came from a misfire of Watkins’ rifle rather than a shot at my hat. But there is no need to extend your apologies, as I am so accustomed to your false accusations as to be quite deaf to them, and we both know any expression of regret on your part would be purely a matter of form, and not truly meant.

Yours, etc.

Theophilus Darcy